How can the ties that bind be loosened?
My hands callous from the grip.
A single tear for you has broken
My path of least resistance
Insistent on welling up and flowing out
Running dry, until it cracks.
To what end is this folly?
Will my weakness, professed,
Continue and caress what I lack?
Or will this gentle, simple love
Be enough to turn you back
To hope and repair?
I fear your despair
But despair myself,
Unable to separate
My heart from your own.
A world unknown and closed off.
You are careful not to reveal
What is hidden and ridden with rot.
But you have not been buried alive
And left to die.
But have survived the refuse
Arise – now
Wounded yet healed,
A greater glory revealed.
A sweeter story yet untold,
Now ready to unfold..
Have you ever been in a relationship with blurred lines of ‘being’? Wondering where you start, end, and where they begin?
This is a long time issue of mine. I sometimes feel so deeply and care so carelessly that it affects my mood in a powerful way. When my loved ones struggle, I struggle. I find it difficult to ‘move on’ if those closest to me aren’t ‘moving on’ with me.
Negotiating through the waters of establishing boundaries between those I love and myself is extremely difficult. However, I am beginning to see that this is a necessary step that I need to take in order to address some of the underlying issues that cause my depression. I allow the moods, decisions, and pain of those around me to affect my own outlook on life. This CAN be a good thing if I am surrounded by joy and happiness, but let’s face it – life is MESSY! And there is no shortage of pain, heartache, addiction, abuse, neglect and despair. Being sensitive and not learning how to protect myself before the exposure to such powerful circumstances, leaves me, over and over again, vulnerable.
So, what does this have to do with ‘becoming ordinary’? It is giving myself permission to not always have to be a ‘super feeler’. Just because I experience deep empathy, I can (WITHOUT guilt), establish boundaries that LIMIT my exposure to other people’s pain. I am ‘allowed’ and in fact, encouraged, to have an ordinary, simple day in order to build up resilience for the days when it is necessary to engage in other people’s issues out of love and support.
Becoming Ordinary: Day 37